06.december: wedding woes

Planning any major event is stressful. Planning a wedding is even more stressful. Planning your own wedding...well, a bit more on top of that. Planning your own wedding, while many of the people "involved" in the event either: don't want it to happen, don't approve it of it happening, aren't supportive or happy about it or are doing just about everything in their power to make you not enjoy the process of planning your own wedding, is, honestly? Overwhelmingly stressful.

I think I have spent more time crying over the planning process than actually sitting back, feeling as though I am the glowing bride-to-be. S. has been unfathomably helpful and tolerant of my moodiness these days and has been so supportive I don't know what I would do without him...well, I wouldn't be getting married without him, so let's have three cheers for the groom right now. I didn't want to write about this here, but I have to talk about it with someone -- and somehow I thought it might be easier to "talk" about it when there isn't someone sitting across from me, nodding their head and saying "uh huh..." every few minutes.

It's not that I don't have supportive, agreeable, happy friends and family members. Andrea for one has been the most amazing bridesmaid in the universe -- everyday she has found a way to make me laugh, make me comfortable and make me not despise my own wedding plans. My sister has also been on-and-off supportive, but supportive when I need it most, nonetheless. My friend Anne called me last night and was so sweet, offering to take on any little "projects" I might need to get done between now and the wedding. My brother, who I never expected anything from has been verging on giddy lately and seems to be even happier than S. and I about the wedding some days. Even my father - who HATES weddings - has lent his hand in helping us to get food four our reception from a friend of his who makes the most amazing pizza in the city!

I'm not going to get into the laundry list non-supportive people...I can't handle even talking about them right now to be honest. It clogs up my chest and makes my head spin to even think about how unfeeling certain people have been in regards to what is supposed to be one of the most important days of S.'s and my life together so far. I know it's only an "official" bind that we are going to be acknowledging, since we already live together and we know how much we love each other -- but it is important. It is the beginning of a new stage in our lives together and dammit if I don't want it ruined by nay-sayers and those out there who have decided to not be supportive.

ANYWAY...in my seemingly unending quest to make the perfect wedding cake, I tried this really delicious buttermilk banana chocolate chip cake recently. While it turned out deliciously, it just isn't what I have in mind for my wedding cake. Back to the drawing board!